A couple of Scottish jokes.

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  draaiorgel 5 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #2284

    draaiorgel
    Participant

    Why are they putting Englishmen at the bottom of the ocean?      They found out that deep down, they’re really not so bad. A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman were in a bar and had just started on a new round when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Irishman blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it out, ye wee devil," he growled.

  • #3053

    tink
    Moderator

    😀 😀 😀 We are not allowed to tell jokes like that anymore. Might hurt some ones feelings. By the way – my last name is Cranmer – very English  😀

  • #3054

    mark
    Participant

    Hahhaha!  2 more good ones!

  • #3055

    draaiorgel
    Participant

    😀 😀 😀 We are not allowed to tell jokes like that anymore. Might hurt some ones feelings. By the way - my last name is Cranmer - very English  😀

    The English probably use the same joke substituting Scotsmenfor Englishmen.  ;D ;D

  • #3056

    tink
    Moderator

      Isn't it a shame that no one seems to have a sense of humor anymore. Without the ethnic jokes my 40 yrs in construction would have been very boring. You just had to take as well as give. Where would we be without the dumb blonde jokes  😀 😀  Miss Mary is blonde and reads over my shoulder sometimes 😀 😀

  • #3057

    draaiorgel
    Participant

    I had an Irish/Pakistani customer at one time,and this guy was really funny.(a Paki with an Irish accent)He was very capable of telling jokes non stop from the time he got out of bed in the morning till he went to bed at night.One of his jokes was as follows.Why don't the Scottish football team have Pakistani wingers?They were worried that when a corner kick had been awarded,the Paki would build a shop on the corner.

  • #3058

    tink
    Moderator

    Now your terminology threw me there. Our football is just a little different than yours  😀 I had to think a bit before I understood the joke.  A young blonde was hired by the highway dept. to paint the center line. The first day she painted almost a mile of road. the next day she painted about a half mile. The third day she was down to just a short distance. Her supervisor asked her why she was slowing down so much.  DUH! It's a lot further back to get more paint on her brush she replied.

  • #3059

    draaiorgel
    Participant

    That's a good one tink. ;D ;D

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