A couple of Scottish jokes.
Why are they putting Englishmen at the bottom of the ocean? They found out that deep down, they’re really not so bad. A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman were in a bar and had just started on a new round when a fly landed in each glass of beer. The Englishman took his out on the blade of his Swiss Army knife. The Irishman blew his away in a cloud of froth. The Scotsman lifted his one up carefully by the wings and held it above his glass. "Go on, spit it out, ye wee devil," he growled.